Booty Queen!

Mirror Mirror On The Wall
I know I am The Fairest Of All
But Now I Will  Keep You At Bay
And  Check Facebook 10 Times A Day!!

Tree’s Company!

This poem, and the one that precedes this, were inspired by some songs that I heard in a prayer/condolence meeting…

They used my branches for your cradle
And you  used my branches for your bonfire
I was used to make your dream furniture
And  they’ll probably use me for your coffin/pyre…

Handle With Care

Some friendships are so fragile
That a wrong word is all it takes
To ensure that the friendship
Quickly and irrevocably breaks…

Rain Reign…

Nothing lasts forever
Not even the wonderful monsoon
Those lovely romantic rainy days
Will bring joy and then, be gone soon…

Moody Foodie!

When people are tense
And tend to brood
They either skip meals
Or eat more food…

Skill v/s. Will

When selecting a new employee
I’d prefer to give some latitude,
To a person who lacks some skills
But has got the right attitude...

Numbing Fact

The secret to your destiny
And all the riches and fame
According to a numerologist
Are in the numbers in your name…

No Noose Is Good News!

The necktie reflects man’s state of mind
And it isn’t just a quirk
That deadly noose around his neck
Symbolizes the atmosphere at work

Necktor…

I have a crick in the neck
Now don’t you ask me why
Oh well – if you so insist
I was learning to wear a Tie…

Balancing Act!

One comes across some people
Their cool can be mistaken for nonchalance
All through life’s ups and downs
They maintain a great Work-Life balance!

Bridge On The River Why!

A smart Trainer reads up a lot
After all he is like a Widget
He thrives on maintaining a knowledge gap
And then gets paid to bridge it!

Net Effect!

I hate it when the Internet acts up
Without the slightest warning
I have been trying to access my mail
Right since yesterday morning

Looking Down!

Said one participant to another
“How does the Trainer expect to serve us
With his know-it-all attitude
He will only make us more nervous…”

Charge Of The Light Brigade!

They pack so many apps into a phone
Yet phones aren’t getting any larger
Now why doesn’t some one start work on
Creating a smaller Charger…

X Effect…

Those days are not far away
When the cameras on your phones
Will take photocopies of your documents
And X-Rays of your bones…

Square Deal?

Inventions don’t match
And inventors don’t care
Camera lenses are round
But photographs are square!

Hunger For Work

Just when evening hunger pangs
Start to bother me
The boss gives me loads of work
And manages to smother me…

Class Monitor?

Time to buy an LCD monitor
My old monitor is on the blink
Today, monitors are getting larger
While their prices have begun to shrink…

The Millionheir

A self styled Internet Marketing Guru
Sends me spam that always hollers
“For 10 bucks I promise to show you how
To earn a million dollars!”

Salutation!

Excess gas causes global warming
And excess noise pollutes
Then why is it that excess cash
Gets you so many salutes?

Tell Me Why

When gold prices are rising
People are overjoyed
Then why does an increase in food price
Make them so annoyed?

An Apple A Day

One thing that amazes me
And it’s something I can’t grapple
Is how they constantly innovate
And introduce new products at Apple

Raise A Toast

This is the time to ask for a raise
It’s time to praise the boss
To expect the same generosity from him
That we expect from Santa Claus

On Borrowed Time

This poem was insipred by a comment that a friend Kasturi made in an earlier post of mine – titled Here Today Gone Tomorrow.

There is a great likelihood
That a lot of a person’s sorrows
Are a direct result of
The money that he borrows

Kill Bill…

I took them to a posh restaurant
Where we enjoyed fantastic food
We had a great time out there
Until the bill spoilt my mood…

Etiquette

I hate this thing called Etiquette
Of doing things in a certain manner
Following a list of do’s and don’ts
And always coming under a scanner…

Here Today – Gone Tomorrow!

They say what you know today
Is not valid tomorrow
How I wish that applied
To the money that I borrow!

The Jet-Setter!

Since I don’t travel so much
I can’t boast of Jet Lag
But I make up by surfing the net
And boasting of Net Lag!

Out Of Bounds

A man’ s home is his castle
He will protect it with fervour
The same applies to our computer room
That houses the office server…

No Pain No Gain!

Congrats Mr. General Manager
How did you climb the corporate ladder
“I worked so hard and never took breaks
Not even to empty my bladder!”

East Meets West

East is east and west is west
Never the twain shall meet
Except when you go to any
Multicuisine restaurant to eat

Boss’ Dictat

Work is work
And play is play
Don’t combine the two
That is my way…

Boss’ Strategy

An idle mind is a Devil’s workshop
So let’s just keep him busy
Give him so much work that he
Get’s into a tizzy!

E-loquence

Shopping on the internet
Is aptly called e-Shopping
Then why is ‘surfing the Internet’
Not aptly called e-Hopping?

Cash Strapped

Said one handbag to another
I am tired of carrying cash
The friend retorted “You are better off
I am only carrying trash…”

Carless Whisper

Twinkle twinkle little star
I’ve been planning to buy a car
But petrol prices are so high
No wonder I’ve been fighting shy…

Inkorporated!

I have a computer printer
That takes up too much ink
Each time I want a printout
My heart begins to sink…

Pest Control

Be warned – computer owner
You simply have to hire us
For a tidy sum we promise
To remove that pesky virus!

Card-a-mum

My credit card is a great friend
I can buy things with a sweep
My wife smiles for the next few days
While I go home and weep…

Purrfect Solution!

I wanted to buy a lovely car
But the EMIs were way too high
So instead of hearing the engine’s purr
I setttled for a deep sigh…

Tol Mol Aur Bol

Our local jeweller is a savvy guy
He measures customers by the tola
The smaller buyers are offered water
While the richer ones get a Cola!

Wait & Watch!

Dial 1 if you really want
To speak to our supervisor
Hopefully, the long long wait
Will make you a lot more wiser!

Merry Go Round!

My unsuspecting boss thinks I am at work
While I am at a party, making merry
All those busy looking emails to him
Are being sent from my new Blackberry!

Humpty Dumped Thee!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty made a quick call
All the Customer Care Executives, women and men
Made sure Humpty would never call again…

Call Centre IVR

Now that you are here by accident
How can we let you go?
Dial 1 for an eternal wait
Dial 2 for a wait more slow!

Accentric!

Nikhil or Nik, I care a fig
Just stop being a tormentor
Leave that fake accent behind
When you’re not in your Call Centre!

Jingle Jangle

Imagine this to be a recorded sing-song message that you get while you are on hold. Repeat the verse in your mind, 3 times in succession!

Complaints to us
Are nothing new
Please hold the line
You are in Queue

Child’s Play

“Now we’ll play another game”
Said the enthusiastic Trainer
The class sat wondering why he didn’t
Become an Entertainer…

Hold On!

Thank you for calling XYZ
You happen to be in Queue
The patient men may Dial 1
The Quitters may Dial 2

Homework Blues!

I really hate the irritating way
My teacher keeps on forcing
Loads of homework down my throat
Now I am thinking of outsourcing!

Mall Wonder!

Mom & Pop Stores to Shopping Malls
See how things are moving
User Experience  is all about
Innovating & Improving

Ad Guy To Client

Trust me sir, customers will pay
You really don’t need to panic
You can easily increase the price
If you call the products Organic

The Job Seeker

Baa Baa Black Marketer
Have you any pull
Yes Sir, Yes Sir
Just give me three bags full

Jack & Jilt

Jack and all, went to the mall
To fetch some mineral water
Jack fell down and said with a frown
“The price – It’s sheer slaughter!”

I Seek You!

Find long lost friends easily
Share memories, sweet and bitter
All you need is simple tools
Like Facebook, Orkut & Twitter

Love At First Site!

This was written during the first dotcom boom/bubble, when some investors were blindly betting on dotcom companies

Cupid’s arrow struck the investor
He asked her “Where are you from?”
Coyly she replied “Does it matter sir?
My surname is Dotcom!!”

Cheque Mate!

E-commerce may not take off
I’ll tell you why it will fail
It’s a wee bit tough, to tell a guy
“Your cheque is in the Email”

A Technologist’s Oath

Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
Every 6 months
Obsolescence is a must

Call That A Bargain?

“Buy 2 shoes
And get 1 Free”
Now I wonder what
I’ll do with three!!!

Rise & Shine!

Rise & shine my dear friend
This ain’t the time for shirking
Wake up – smell the coffee, dear
Its time to start networking!!!

Gold Is Old!

All that glitters is not gold
FD’s & Debentures are now old
It’s insurance for the one who cares
He also opts for funds and shares