Booty Queen!

Mirror Mirror On The Wall
I know I am The Fairest Of All
But Now I Will  Keep You At Bay
And  Check Facebook 10 Times A Day!!

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Tree’s Company!

This poem, and the one that precedes this, were inspired by some songs that I heard in a prayer/condolence meeting…

They used my branches for your cradle
And you  used my branches for your bonfire
I was used to make your dream furniture
And  they’ll probably use me for your coffin/pyre…

Potluck…

Said the earth to the Potter
“Today you pick and mould me
There will come a day when you depart
From then on, I will cover and hold thee”

Rain Reign…

Nothing lasts forever
Not even the wonderful monsoon
Those lovely romantic rainy days
Will bring joy and then, be gone soon…

Moody Foodie!

When people are tense
And tend to brood
They either skip meals
Or eat more food…

Skill v/s. Will

When selecting a new employee
I’d prefer to give some latitude,
To a person who lacks some skills
But has got the right attitude...

Numbing Fact

The secret to your destiny
And all the riches and fame
According to a numerologist
Are in the numbers in your name…

No Noose Is Good News!

The necktie reflects man’s state of mind
And it isn’t just a quirk
That deadly noose around his neck
Symbolizes the atmosphere at work

Necktor…

I have a crick in the neck
Now don’t you ask me why
Oh well – if you so insist
I was learning to wear a Tie…

Hearty Advice

People say that Absence
Makes the heart grow fonder
I suggest, be careful, lest
It make the heart go yonder!

Malignant Rumour

Why judge a person by what others say
Why not use your own gut feeling
We  judge the person being talked about
But not the one doing the “squealing”

Silent Crusader

We all believe that violence hurts
But so can instances of non-violence
Sometimes people’s speech can hurt
And sometimes some people’s  silence…

Bridge On The River Why!

A smart Trainer reads up a lot
After all he is like a Widget
He thrives on maintaining a knowledge gap
And then gets paid to bridge it!

Net Effect!

I hate it when the Internet acts up
Without the slightest warning
I have been trying to access my mail
Right since yesterday morning

Looking Down!

Said one participant to another
“How does the Trainer expect to serve us
With his know-it-all attitude
He will only make us more nervous…”

Marriage Wow!

I wrote this in jest – a few days ago. Just a bit of nonsensical humour!

Marriages are great
But I wonder why
Marriage vows don’t say
“Conditions Apply”

Charge Of The Light Brigade!

They pack so many apps into a phone
Yet phones aren’t getting any larger
Now why doesn’t some one start work on
Creating a smaller Charger…

X Effect…

Those days are not far away
When the cameras on your phones
Will take photocopies of your documents
And X-Rays of your bones…

Square Deal?

Inventions don’t match
And inventors don’t care
Camera lenses are round
But photographs are square!

Hunger For Work

Just when evening hunger pangs
Start to bother me
The boss gives me loads of work
And manages to smother me…

Class Monitor?

Time to buy an LCD monitor
My old monitor is on the blink
Today, monitors are getting larger
While their prices have begun to shrink…

Diet Choke!

I received a call from a friend
She asked me why I had gone quiet
Where were the poems that I regularly post
Had I gone on a verbal diet?

Resolushun!

The New Year is a New bunch of 12 months
It is just a frame of reference
Resolve to improve, or improve your resolve
Whatever be your preference

In-Turn

Why is it
That we are full of cheer
Whenever it is
The turn of the year?

The Jet-Setter!

Since I don’t travel so much
I can’t boast of Jet Lag
But I make up by surfing the net
And boasting of Net Lag!

Got Your Oat!

At home I am the gourmet chef
I always make a big deal
Of the breakfast that I prepare
Including the humble oatmeal!

Out Of Bounds

A man’ s home is his castle
He will protect it with fervour
The same applies to our computer room
That houses the office server…

Cash Strapped

Said one handbag to another
I am tired of carrying cash
The friend retorted “You are better off
I am only carrying trash…”

Channelising Energies

Said the frightened remote control
With an overused control panel
“I have seen fights in the family
Over the choice of a channel…”

What’s In A Name?

“What’s in a name” people may ask
But I don’t think it would be a Fun Day
If we renamed all the days of the week
And called Monday a Sunday!

Smell A Rat?

Said the happening Deodorant
“I hide many a smell
Sadly,  some men think, I can help
Attract many a Belle…”

The Argument

The IPOD is a handy tool
When things go horribly wrong
My wife continues to argue with me
While I secretly enjoy a song!

BraveHeart!

I trekked up like Edmund Hillary
And I whistled a lively tune
I braved the heat and the wind
And conquered the sand dune!

Salsa Fever

My past attempt at Salsa
Ended in disaster
My Salsa partner wears a grin
While my hand is cast in plaster!

Battered Husband!

The kitchen smells wonderful
As my wife makes some batter
And fries pakoras in sizzling oil
No wonder I am growing fatter…

Star At-traction!

My wife says it serves me right
Now that I am in traction
She wants to know why, at this age
I danced like Michael Jackson…

Science Friction

Arguments are a way of life
I can say it with conviction
Every day my wife & I
Have this constant friction…

Tooth & Nail

The pen is mightier than the sword
With it you can write strong articles
But my weapon is the humble toothpick
To fight those damn food particles…

Hair Apparent

I brush my teeth twice a day
And shampoo my hair quite often
I keep praying for pearly whites
And hope my hair will soften…

The Show Off

You think your coach was tough
But my coach made me practice
High Jump over huge bushes
Of thorny plants and cactus!

Hic Hic Hurray!

Beer is probably a man’s best friend
So what if it gives him a belly
What better companion
With whom to watch the Telly!

Thought For Food

What is it about street food
The Pav Bhaji & Samosas
Home food never tasted as good
As the street-side Idli-Dosas!

Hair Today – Gone Tomorrow!

Life is full of contradictions
Life just isn’t fair
While some men shave twice a day
I pray for some more hair…

Snow White!

Mary had a very good friend
Whose hair was white as snow
Every week she dyed her hair
Coz the colour was sure to go

Laughter – The Best Medicine

A poem a day, keeps the doctor away
I’ll share a simple trick
Write poems, like the ones out here
And the doctor is sure to fall sick!

The Secret Wish!

How I wish there was a pill
Or for that matter, an injection
That would help me hide my wrinkles
And give me a new compexion!

Food For Thought!

For once I complimented my wife
And said the food was tasty
She said it was cooked by the maid
Now I wonder why I was so hasty!

Clothes Encounter!

Oh Dear! The maid is here!
I am in a real quandary
If I don’t give her three days’ leave
She refuses to do the laundry!

Wife’s Woes

Water water everywhere
But not a drop to drink
Haven’t I been telling you
To repair that damn sink???

Call That A Bargain?

“Buy 2 shoes
And get 1 Free”
Now I wonder what
I’ll do with three!!!